i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
