When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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