I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
