Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
