Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
