Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
