he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
