i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
