so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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