i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
