Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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