Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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