Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
