Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
