I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The Olympian is in my bed
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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