Only a mothe r could love this liver
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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