The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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