We should be called the Road Head Warriors
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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