i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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