Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
