i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
