three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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