the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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