Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
