Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
