I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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