its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Come on in and take your pants off
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