Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just sucked dick on a ferry
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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