you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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