i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
