I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
