I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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