Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
