never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
