You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
