Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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