doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
