oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
