I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
