Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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