Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He passed out mid-signature
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
