I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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