If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
