Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
