do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
