What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
