a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It all started with a game of naked twister.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
