you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
