i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
