"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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