Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Pants are for mortals
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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