you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
