I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
