so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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