trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
