i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
