I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
