I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
