So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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