Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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