The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
