sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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